What's in the ceremony?

As celebrants, we sometimes meet people who have dreamt about their wedding since they were little. They can picture what they are wearing and the excitement of the whole day. Rarely though do they know what they want in the ceremony.

In our parents’ time, most people chose a church wedding which brought with it a pre-existing set of words that formed a fairly traditional ceremony. Now people get married on the beach, in a garden or their living room – even on the back deck. For many people, the words, symbols and rituals used in the church no longer seem appropriate.

There are some words that are required to be included in an Australian marriage ceremony if it is to comply with legal requirements. These are the monitum & the vows.

The monitum includes the celebrant introducing themselves and the statement “I am duly authorised by law to solemnise marriages according to law. Before you are joined in marriage in my presence and in the presence of these witnesses, I am to remind you of the solemn and binding nature of the relationship into which you are now about to enter. Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of two people to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life.”

While the couple can write and say their own vows, the following vows must also be spoken for the weeding to meet legal requirements: “I call upon the people here present to witness that I, AB/CD, take you, CD/AB, to be my lawful wedded wife/husband.”

There are some words within the monitum and vows can be altered slightly but the meaning must be the same. Your celebrant will know these requirements and discuss them with you.

Once these things have been included, the ceremony can take whatever shape you want. You can have ten different rituals and three different readings. You can use many symbols and have many songs. You can have prayers or poems.

Often the couples we have worked with have people they want to involve in the ceremony and in helping them find the best way to use these people, the ceremony grows with readings, rituals and symbols. If your best friend will be too nervous to read a poem, perhaps they can light a candle or hand around a loving cup.

At our first meetings we often find couples ask for a brief ceremony but it has been rare for us to only do the bare minimum.

For couples these days there is a great deal of choice as to what can be included in the ceremony and your celebrant will be experienced in the use of many different symbols and smaller ceremonies to include on your wedding day.